Unit 81

I feel so stupid right now.
If I could have my way, I’d pick you or someone like you.
That was the whole point of me trying in the first place.
I’m stupid for trying, I know and I didn’t get what I wanted, again, and I know I’ll just have to deal with it.
This is what happens when you ignore your own boundaries.
Honestly, I’d like a partner I can sleep with more than once a month.
Stupid, I know. Preferably several times a week if I’m being completely honest…
but more importantly I want a partner who wants to do things with me fully clothed, in public.
Maybe even travel.
The most important thing I want is a grown ass man who is not looking to share all of his time and his dick with a whole crowd of men and women that happen to cross his path, just me.
That’s the dumbest bit, right? I’m aware.
This is what happens when you think that there are exceptions to the rules.
I’m sorry I really am I dunno why I think I’m more than enough for anyone.
So I give up.
Probably the smartest thing I can do considering.
If everyone is just going to play games, lie, pretend etc. then I can get high by myself.
I can take myself on trips and dates and get a vibrator that doesn’t touch anyone else but me
It’s fine. I’m getting smarter. And I’m done trying.
I really hope that you find all of the others you are looking for to share your body with and that all of your fantasies come true.
I might do stupid things but I know that I don’t want any part of that and I’m not going to participate in it just to make you happy.
I’ve done all the adventuring with my soul that I can handle thank you.
I’d rather be alone, with the tiny bit of self respect and dignity that I have left.
I’m at least that smart.
Enjoy yourself. Live your best life and take care. I’m glad that I met you even if being with you made me feel as stupid as a person possibly could. I’m sorry that I can’t be what you need to make you happy but you’re wrong, I’m more than enough.
I genuinely hope you find her or him or them and that you have as much sex as you think is worth the effort and that one day I find something and somebody to stick around for too.
Either way I’m getting smarter every day.
This is what happens when you won’t settle if you don’t have to.

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