The question that you have to ask yourself is, who are you actually fighting with?
You don’t really know that other person, you never really did and you never really could. They too, like you, are a labyrinth of messy, depraved, sad thoughts and selfish, brutal ways and unrealistic expectations…what they have presented, much like a lovely flower’s petals in the sunlight, is only a shiny illusion of what it really is, a protective facade like a layer of Vaseline, and an outward expression of a soul, unrelated entirely to their true wants and needs and desires of the disgusting decaying being beneath.
How do you know that a soul is even a thing at all and that yours, as sick and insecure as it might be, has a match in existence in the same time and space? How conceited are you, dear heart?
You don’t really know that other person, you never really did and you never really could.
So who are you trying to convince when you confess your unrequited love? Who are you trying to control, change and manipulate? Who are you trying to share all of your important and seminal experiences with in order to validate them on your life’s timeline, truly?
Everyone else is a figment of your imagination.
You have met merely your beloved’s avatar.
And no matter how long you know them and how intimately and how truly and how closely you acquaint yourself and how much life and lust you’ve shared there’s a good chance that every time that they have touched you some one completely different was on their mind. Every time they slap you verbally or emotionally or physically who are you mad at?
You don’t really know that other person, you never really did and you never really could.
Every time they talk to you it is because whoever they dearly want is unavailable or dead, possibly, how would you ever know? And if they told you, how do you know that is the real truth of the matter?
Whatever kindness you have shown, although outwardly appreciated, would become irrelevant to this person that you are arguing with if they won enough money to never have to see you again or enough to have you killed and every idiot that exists on the planet who looks like you killed.
Okay, granted, maybe that last part is extreme but the rest is probable.
Who is it that you think that you love?
You don’t really know that other person, you never really did and you never really could.
Who are you fighting with to text you back, fall through, keep promises, tell the truth and stay loyal? Who are you angry at when it doesn’t happen more importantly, sweetheart?
Yourself of course.
Is it not just you dancing, tantalizing, sweet talking, aching for and pleasing your damned self through what you think could possibly be them? Shadow boxing, shadow dancing, shadow loving…
You don’t really know that other person, you never really did and you never really could.
And if you are doing anything for anyone else for any other reason than you want to, you will be destroyed and swiftly and you already know this implicitly.

So for whom’s affections are you battling for my love and why?