I would literally let you move in with me even if you didn’t suck a dick for me (which of course you would) just to get to hear you crawling across the floor like a cat to the edge of my bed every morning to tell me you love me and kiss me.
And if you were dressed like Barbie with your dick locked in my cock cage while you did it…my money is your money, girl.
One day you’re going to move to Montana with the woman that you love and you’ll have a little bit of land and birth two gorgeous blue eyed kids and go to church every Sunday and ride a lawnmower and you will have lost your hair and have the cutest beer belly and I’m going to show up then, looking exactly as I do right now, on your front porch quietly waiting outside the screen door and you’ll know I’m there because you’ll smell beer and weed and death over your wife’s award winning pot roast wafting through the door holes and you’ll crawl out
pensively
out of respect
without thinking
passed your stunned wife who thought she knew you
and scared toddlers who just stopped respecting you
and hug my hips and whimper daddy
as you hold on for dear life and for once, I’ll have a family too, thanks to you.
I can’t wait.