I remember how miserable it made me
all of the wanting
looking for him, looking for you
I remember the chain of events
waiting for him, waiting for you
that let up to my heart being broken and not just bent
all of the needing and pleading
looking for him, waiting for you
I remember who I was then and who I pretended to be
Waiting for him, looking for you
and if I could only forget
forget all of it
I could be someone smarter, someone blessed, someone free
I could be someone honest, someone hopeful, a better me
I remember wanting and
looking and waiting and
needing and pleading and
the fact is that memory isn’t true…
So did I really know me this entire time
and have I ever even loved you?