Losing yet another FP and my mind

I kept forgetting that he was only a rented hotel room
a short stay that I second guessed so much that I couldn’t enjoy it
Yeah, I let the wishy washy behavior slide for a time
and my friends are concerned now and suddenly that means the most
I kept forgetting that my tone betrays me when I go off
a quick way for him to know I’m stupidly still hanging on
Yeah, I knew that I was on his mind like a fever dream
and this obsession has always been like forcing compatibility
so I keep forgetting to celebrate the here and now with every new now that I reach
always testing his merits and intention isn’t very valuable lately
Yeah, I never made him accountable for anything as long as he said he loved me
and what’s best for him doesn’t seem to coincide with what I need
I only live inside my head, heart and body
he took full stock of that and decided it wasn’t worth a deposit for a lease
I won’t forget though that I tried to move into a Hilton
using my self esteem to cover his resort fees…

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