Loving me is too hard darlin’
And I’m happy to lighten your load
so I’ll buy you a one-way ticket
and make sure you eat well before you go
I’ll pack some fluffy spare socks
in case your feet just always cold
Honey, I’ll even charge all your devices
So they don’t die on the road
I’ll run you right to the airport
I’ll hug you goodbye tenderly
press a kiss right on your nose
Toss you a sandwich for later to eat
and throw in 2 real silver coins
They’ll come in handy, you’ll see
no hard feelings sweetheart
are the only kind between you and me
Don’t even worry about writing
I’ve already moved along
Tell Hades I said hello stranger
‘cause he’ll ask you how I’m doin’
when your stupid ass gets down to hell baby
Because where the fuck else didja think you were goin’?
I know him from way back
he’s the first I sent packing by the way
As soon as he sees your fluffy socks
he’ll probably laugh and say
After loving her this here suffering forever
will be a piece of cake,
got any new nudes chickenshit
‘cause I’ve some classy polaroids of her to trade…

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