Loving yourself, whew its rough stuff for some like myself so I’m asking myself today who I admire and why and since I love them, what I can incorporate into myself so I feel about myself how I feel about them- great artists steal they say- and why wouldn’t I want to be more like people I like or why else would I like them at all?
Who do I admire? Dorothy Parker, Carol Burnett, Erykah Badu, Carrie Fisher, Pam Grier, Nikki Giovanni, Stevie Nicks and Chaka Khan.
And why do I admire Dorothy?
The way she writes. She can cut you with three words. With six words she can compliment you and read you for filth. She didn’t really care what people thought about her because she already knew. She just didn’t seem to be very inhibited and leaned into the fact she wasn’t a girly girl type. She was smarter, and quicker and faster with wit than anyone around her and she didn’t come off as snooty about it. She was incredibly charitable.
Why do I admire Carol?
The way she makes me laugh with a look. I can close my eyes right now and see Carol’s face in one of her sketches and make my damn self smile and those were shows I saw when I was a girl. She was so passionate about what she did and she seemed so genuine and every character she played was really whatever it was but it was still her gloriously; I never wanted to be anybody more than I wanted to be her as a kid- she wasn’t a pretty lady by convention but the way she made me laugh made her look beautiful to me.
Why do I admire Erykah?
The way she carries herself through the universe. I can’t tell if she is acting or created a persona but I love everything about it; its magical, but earthbound- she is so textured and vibrant and alive to me and I don’t ever know what to expect so I assume its her authentic self. She’s so left of center most of the time and nobody tries to hold her back because of it- it’s so raw, this character that she is and unafraid and super black and she scares me and makes me feel good about myself because I just couldn’t imagine her not paying utmost attention in a conversation.
Why do I admire Carrie?
The way she was as Princess Leia. I had never seen anybody be sassy and smart and sexy and in charge and the boss and smarter than everyone else and a fighter at the same time before and be a girl. She was my princess. That doughnut roll hairdo and barking orders you don’t even see it as funny as shit or weird where you’re from when you watch her, you just know, she has an answer.
Why do I admire Pam?
They way she seems so soft and down to earth but still that fucking sexy for no reason and she doesn’t appear to me to ever apologize for being extremely enticing and seductive and sultry by nature dressed or not dressed or anywhere doing anything- she just accepts it– and doesn’t try to use to hurt anybody or manipulate anything- she a natural ass goddess with shit to do holding it all together and being the example in all situations of exquisite beauty but will still fuck you up if you feel like trying some dumb shit.
Why do I admire Nikki?
The way she speaks so freely- She doesn’t always have to rhyme or have a reason at the start but it flows out of her and every piece is like a conversation and it feels so real that even if it doesn’t meet traditional standards of proper English you still comprehend, understand and feel every word in the sequence that she placed them to the fullest and if you can’t feel it you’re not even alive.
Why do I admire Stevie?
The way she just flows. There’s something about her that seems so unforced and genuine-like a river you know it can get rough it can wind it can go up and down mountains but it is solid, it is a thing, it is the river and it makes you feel more alive somehow and more your own self when you come across someone like her you just want to stay present and in the moment and go with the flow of things without fear. Its extraordinary to me how calming she is just to look at and listen to.
Why do I admire Chaka?
The way everything about her is iconic. She cannot be replicated nor duplicated nor copied it’s too precisely Chaka. She is so beautiful and talented and just commands all the attention she gets and she deserves it truly why would you look at anything else if she was in the room? If she is singing to you and you aren’t in a trance your eyes are closed and your ears are not open. She is the absolute divinity of the thing in every decade I’ve seen her just cutting edge, and real and a little bit beyond everything and everybody else around.
So what can I incorporate about them, into me?
To honor Dorothy, I can keep trying to cultivate my own voice in my writing. Make it me.
To honor Carol, be more lighthearted about myself and the world around me. Don’t be so serious.
To honor Erykah, don’t be so quick to hide what makes me unique. Appreciate what makes me stand out.
To honor Carrie, don’t let any boxes I fit into stop me- those are opinions and perceptions and I can move how I want to move.
To honor Pam, accentuate my perceived positives, I have them, they are mine and I might as well make the most use of them as I can, being sexy is just what they see at first but if they wait, there’s a goddess too.
To honor Nikki, stand for what I think is right in the face of obstacles without apologizing for it.
To honor Stevie, don’t be moved by what the crowd thinks is right to do or to be, I can choose for myself.
To honor Chaka, shoo silly childish shame back through the corner of my mind that it snuck out of; ain’t a damn thing wrong with me, just like I am, I am fabulous and it is visible and even if it ain’t to you, I’ma be it any damn way.
Let me try…