This child of god told me that he has a huge penis and just stopped right there.
I laughed.
My thoughts go okay wait so is he telling me this because I’m older than he is or because I’m black or because I have wide hips and thick lips? Why does he think that suddenly anything changed? To me he basically just said today is Tuesday and stood back so proud like he named the day or some shit.
I’m like so?
And then he said aren’t you a little bit curious?
Okay, now I’m thinking this dude clearly must have some extraordinary dick like it must have muscles, and wear it’s only tiny suits and smoke cigars or something. It must look like the calf of a T-Rex and have scales and lasers or something. Maybe he got supercalifragilisticexpialidocious tattooed on it, I mean I guess that would be impressive- but this was like a con artist talking ’bout we don’t even need a credit card- or a 3 card monty guy on the corner talking ’bout which thimble has the peanut under it?
What?
My laughter creates tears of joy.
I have no idea why this child is so impressed with what he thinks is a big penis or why he thinks I should not only also be impressed by it but be dying to see it like I can’t imagine such an incredible baby batter garden hose as the one he’s lugging smugly.
I’m high and I text fast so I responded
Not really, sweetheart. I’m 46 not 23.
I know age supposedly doesn’t matter here in cyberland, but I’ve seen a few cock rockets before, hon. Now granted, you’ve looked 1 of them over multiple times a day for probably 20 of your 23 years. Cool. I’ve been having sex with men for 30 years. I’ve had a whole ass husband and my son is only 2 years younger than you are. I’ve seen all sorts, kid. I’ve seen the curved ones, the big ones, the itty bitty ones, the pencil ones, the mushroom ones, the two toned ones, the uncut ones and the cut ones, and the shrivily and the aged ones from just about every ethnicity on the planet. You’ve seen, well yours and maybe a few in a locker room or in a porn. But how many have you touched, sweetheart? How many could you tell was the right one in the dark? How many have you tasted, stroked, cleaned or felt inside you? Yeah so… there’s nothing that will impress me about yet another penis unless it shot out gold flakes or some shit or was a detachable hotspot that doubled as a saucer warmer for tea.
Baby no, I’m curious.
I mean, I even have a strap on penis in the closet. I’d be more interested in taking it down and fucking you with it than being curious about what you might think is a gigantic dick monster ready for it’s selfie debut.
And after I said all that, this child said wait, hmmm, now that could be fun too, I’ve never done that before, never even thought about it… but for you… let’s talk about it…
God damnit.
Snared again.
Clever.
Here I go (suddenly not thinking anything else through)
pulling down the one arm bandit one more time…