My child just said, “ I know you are tired and I know you have been through a lot and I know you are okay with death because we have talked about this for years and all I want to say is that I want you to be happy. That is all I have ever wanted; things have been going good for you, you’ve got a new place closer to the water like you like, you’re doing your dream job and just celebrated 10 years of writing on your blog and it was starting to feel like you were becoming the happy woman that you always wanted to be and now this has happened and it sounds like you’re just giving up. But you can’t give up yet. What if this is the last thing you have to get through so your body feels better finally and everything is fine? Well, I’m making a decision, regardless, I’m rooting for you. I’m never going to stop rooting for you to win. It’s one thing to have to reach out to people to get help, but it’s another thing to know that there are people who will offer and are willing to help you. I’m willing, Auntie T is willing, your coworkers that you just met already love you and are willing. So I don’t want to hear you say you’re not going to try. You’ve tried too hard to stop now and there are things I want to do in my life and I want you to want to be there to see them. I’m sorry that you are hurting but I love you, you’ve sacrificed so much of yourself for me when you were struggling and I saw you do your best so I am going to be positive for you right now because I know your mind won’t let you but we are going to get through this and that is all I have to say.”
I guess I just got gathered. Okay then.