If we can’t tell the people that we claim to love what we are doing, is it the right thing to do, or do we not really love them? We certainly don’t trust them with the real us-so who are we protecting? I love my son for example and although he doesn’t need to know the intimate details of my romantic relationships if someone is seriously a part of my life then I should be able to say I’m seeing so and so. It is not about his approval it is about being able to say it. And not being able to say it feels like it is going against my values then- do my intentions and actions match what I believe in if I would do something that has to be a secret? My girlfriends would just shrug and wince and laugh if I told them but it would look like I haven’t changed or grown at all. It would be something I would do when I was severely dysregulated. I want to be able to proudly say to my coworkers this is who I’m bringing to the party. I want to spend my intimate time with someone who matters to me enough that the people who know me can know them. If it can be that, I’m game, truly. If not, then, I have to stop for my own well-being. I’m sorry.

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