Turkey Day Eve, 2022
5:19 PST
Took a 50mg THC softgel. Says it activates in 45 minutes. We’ll see…
I’m listening to I Like That by Janelle Monae, smoking cigarette 1 of 20 of my final pack for at least 6 weeks, drinking lightly sweetened green tea, and writing this all down- or rather typing it out, to keep track- of what happens…next.
I’m not sad. I’m super sad. I’m so sad that I’m thinking of the word sad written on the sand on a beach and the wave comes to shore and wipes the word sad away like it was never there and I’m not even high yet.
I just had a fantasy that I met in real life a person who has been reading my blog for the past ten years and getting to know me through it and when we met they started asking me questions like my posts were show episodes- like remember when you did this or that guy? And the answer to that person is hell nawl. If his name wasn’t tagged kiddo, I may not have even remembered it at all, to be honest by the time I wrote about it and unless I read it again, he’s graduated to the digital page and out of the limited space I have to spend on irrelevant things in my head. May not come back after a re-read either, kiddo sorry imaginary person I’m not having an actual conversation with.
Sad is back. Fuck you sad. Just wait until this weed pill kicks in that’s it for you sad TONIGHT.
Maybe.
Am I vain? Nawl, if I were, would I ever ask myself that?
45 minutes is up. I suddenly need a sweater. Wherever or whenever you are reading this I hope that you enjoy your evening, or don’t fuck you, it’s your choice, do whatever you like.

Heal Me: https://books2read.com/u/bMwk1v


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