The way he used to say my name made me want to punch him in the face. I wanted him to feel how much it hurt that I got to hear it and every second of not hearing it now will cause me pain. I wanted to choke him every time he said it and a few times, I did.
I’m over it now sort of but I won’t soon forget that although these days I struggle to see his face in my head- the feeling of him lingers but it’s not him anymore it’s “that”. I can get addicted to “that.” I need to be careful not to seek so hard for “that”.
I cannot be controlled. I am Control.
I am Control.
Going forward I don’t need to hurt anyone for any reason.
But I can if I want to.
“That” is not a necessity.


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