The least effective way to burn calories

What I said to get him to come see me:

Dare I say it’s your mouth. When I saw it in the photo my first thought was I would like to kiss him even though I don’t know him so that’s a good enough reason to swipe right. I didn’t even look really through your profile or anything except looking for a picture that would make me change my mind about your lips and how they feel but I didn’t find one. And I got to talk to you today. I feel like I was waiting for years. Turns out you’re actually cool. And you listen to my stupid stories. That’s fucking hot. Just saying. I liked your mouth and that’s why I know you and so far, my lust has gotten me to somebody I want to know further. Lucky me.

And then he came.

Then- reality caught up to the fantasy as it always does and murdered it.

Lips true but I’d overestimated his abilities about the rest. He neglected to mention he wasn’t tall enough to be in the front seat without a booster chair. Completely kept his photo’s cropped to his face so no one knew he was only slightly thicker than a spaghetto. Not deal breakers but suspicious. He mentioned how much laundry his mom was doing that day for his sibling but they are both over 30 and he claimed he didn’t live at home. He told me he had one child at first but when I met him in person he admitted he actually has two and one is still an elementary student. Then he said he was a Batman fan and that Superman was so “old”.

That last one sealed his fate.

I left very soon after…le sigh.

Back on my block and delete as I do after these fruitless, pointless and pathetic interactions and shared the following about the experience with a trusted confidant:

I’m off today so I decided to meet up with some cute guy and we were chilling in the park and he started saying he liked Batman better than Superman. He said Superman is so old. I was like wait how old are you? He’s like 31. I’m like how old do you think I am???? lol he had soft lips but a Batman fan would. I got outta there. It wouldn’t end well. I was totally turned off. 🤣😜

I used to be a bit of a goer now I’m a bit of a teaser.

I got what I asked for initially

ultimately

and I can’t complain about the overall outcome. He said he thought he loved me so that’s impossible considering I don’t even know his surname and how insane to type that. Ew.

Yet I’ve made no progress toward anything substantial when it comes to me and romance-

The ignorant slut

so I need to want differently…

Neither of us was wrong so to speak but now I think

before I venture into these stupid waters again

I’ll first ask myself about mundane and necessary tasks I need to do and whether those are completed

before I let my more tender notions drag me into the arms for fun of someone relying on others for fundamental survival essentials…

no one has to do it alone

but if I’m seeking

when I’m not taken care of

I’ll keep ending up with lips to kiss and my own laundry undone.

Or worse someone who doesn’t like Superman.