This is where Pixie rants.  Enjoy.

Suffering is an optional response.

If I stab you in the chest, it makes sense that you’d use your dying breath to wail and flail about in anguish. That’s chemistry and math. I get that. Yet, here we are once more. You are mad about being mad. Sick and tired about being sick and tired. Your friends won’t say anything because they are polite or God fearing chickens, but I will say what’s on everyone’s minds on their behalf. Shut the fuck up.

Today was just one of many where you got your fucking feelings hurt again. She didn’t call, he didn’t clean the kitchen and the landlord is through with your bullshit excuses for the late rent. Your X Box doesn’t work or you can’t find the right nail color to match your purse. Really?

So these petty problems are worth all the psychodrama? If so, jump off something the size of a skyscraper because you’re taking up vital air the rest of us could be consuming you self-indulgent, self-absorbed, whining brat.

Got a problem or a pain? Ok. So what is your plan of action?

The invite- everyone- I know – impromptu-pity party (black tie optional) makes anyone who tries to care about you want to kill you. And since attention is truly what you seek, I’m here to help. If you’re not going to help us all out and take those 15 aspirin and end all this misery once and for all, then here are some things you can do in the meantime:

Remember suffering is optional.

Pain lets you know that you are alive. Pain is a side effect of something else. When there is pain the cause needs to be addressed. Often if the pain is not physical, its related to your insecurity. Yes, you are fat and lazy, we all know that – and in turn, what are you going to do about it?

Yep, he left, she ate all the cereal and the world still keeps turning while you are miserable that the DVR got erased.  Fix that shit, and stop complaining, what are you twelve? You don’t need an audience’s approval to get your shit together. We all have things going on that aren’t quite ideal yet and having a sounding board in a friend to help you through hard times is wonderful but not essential when you are in love with yourself. My point is, buy a pacifier because no one else really cares. And dribble bibs are $2.99 at your local drug store, if you want to invest in the” I’m a giant fucking baby” home kit.

You’ve been through worse, haven’t you?

You got evicted once before remember? This is your third internet girlfriend, not your first. Somehow you have managed to survive. Train yourself to adjust your response to temporary ills and minor traumas because if you go all negative all the time then all you will get is bad shit sandwiches for lunch on a daily basis. Whatever you used to have you can get again. The key here is to remember that once you define what’s important to you, you have the power every day to change whatever it is that isn’t working, isn’t worth it and isn’t a big fucking deal.

Handle the obstacle and lean forward.

It hurts. It sucks, we get it. How long you allow that to be all you talk about is a choice. You can’t control everything around you all the time. But you can decide how you will deal with your circumstances. You suffer, and you will keep suffering because you like it, not because its noble. The longer you suffer by choice, the longer whatever it is will sting. Ever see a baby fall and then look around before he cried? That’s you. Think about the guy with no eyes no legs and no feeling in his balls and then muster up the courage to deal with the fact that Sheila from Accounting stole your parking space. Walking, and talking and seeing and shit, and still complaining is truly lame. Be grateful for the shit you have before you lose that shit too.

Tired of being tired? Good, because the rest of us are tired of hearing about it.

Shot fired.

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