Perception is just a People Pleaser

If I could afford to live close to the sea
that is where I would be right now
and

 when I was free from obligations
in this fantasy

 I would sit outside and stare at the ocean 

Just watching the surface change and reading a book 

iced tea in hand
mentally traveling through sunbeams and galaxies from deep breathing and being at peace, you know? 

But I can’t afford it 

and I don’t want to become a workaholic to afford it, or a con artist, or a politician or a manipulator- I want it but not bad enough to lose my fragile sense of integrity in order to have it
I’m also a parent and therefore as cool as the beach bum life seems in my head that too is not a way available to me to live close to the sea
so instead
instead
instead I get baked in my back yard of a property I do not own in my prescription shades listening to beach bum tunes on my expensive ass phone with a comic book resting in my lap
living in the golden state for sure
and just 1 measly traffic filled hour away now from the Pacific-
Therefore technically
technically
technically, this is that dream as much as it can be at the moment 

and to me

happiness and flexibility are first cousins in my mind…
I’m satisfied.