Warning Shots #2
No the past never truly goes away. You will always have your mother’s eyes and your father’s receding hair line. You will always be from HillbillyPodunk nowhere originally and that is how it is. But I wonder how much of what was is determining what is for you now. You have heard the stories; you know the impossible ones about the guy who had one arm who climbed Mt. Everest? Or the one about the lady who couldn’t see or read but wrote 40 books? How could that be possible if yesterday was so much more important that what you do and say and contribute to the universe today, jack ass?
Stay in the now.
So what you used to be fat. So what you used to jack off 8 hours a day. Do you have control of your reactions? Do you have control of your behaviors? If so then you have control of your destiny and anything that happened before this moment should serve as merely a timeline of what you have overcome and accomplished.
It’s gone so let it be gone.
Now if in the past you were rich and now you are poor you might want to think more about what you can do to rectify the situation now instead of reveling in yesteryear. Or maybe realize you are better off because you were a dick before. Because soon, this moment too will be the past and you will have done nothing but look longingly in a direction you cannot return to. 8 tracks are out. Parachute pants, for the time being, are out. What are you going to do now? Who are you now? What do you want right now?
Are you smart like you used to be?
Are you as attractive as you once were?
Whatever is holding you to the past is preventing you from propelling forward, good or bad.
Figure out what you want and who the hell you are right now and you’ll be happier. Your mom was known for her delicious breast milk thirty years ago but it is not okay for you to plop one of her saggy boobs out now at thanksgiving and suck on it for your meal. Why? Cause the milk is gone. Yesterday is gone. You keep it alive in your mind. The begonia from 1983 died and the picture of it makes you reminisce about times you think were better. But were they really? Then go catatonic. Lay your stupid ass down in a bed and die. Go to dream land of long, long ago forever if you like. You’re gonna die too just like that fucking flower. If you are happy about it, then so am I. But if you want something to change, if you want anything at all, you have to accept that this is now and you are in control of everything that happens to you right in this time. Not a bad childhood, bad marriage or bad finances. Do something. Say something. Think something. Then take a step.
Live for today.