Figuring out how to get along with other people is a twisted exercise.
You’ve got to spend a whole lot of time with yourself
asking yourself what is bothering you and whether or not you can
channel the issue into some outlet

to your demographics and location and socioeconomic status
there’s a lot of math and mysticism
a lot of philosophy and psychology
just to not yell hello
when you really mean I’m scared…
It’s actually not helpful to think all the rest of them are scared too
because then it comes more of a challenge than anything
to be the most scary thing another person could run into
that way
you don’t genuinely have to address any core issues
you can just go boo and scare the bejesus out of anyone
at any time…
Rather than settling into the roles and robes the others find comfortable no matter how scratchy and stupid they are, gives you a chance to spend more time, spending time, going yep uh huh I heard you to people
talking about the fucking weather as if they can change it
or change anything at all that is happening to us
when they can’t.
Seeing gray is saying hey I can mute. Watch me pretend I’m open and not pretending. Because I am. Or at least I’m trying.
I don’t have to when I’m alone and I guess if I wished for anything it is that I could be alone with someone. Yet I tragically think how much suffering that would cause them, never getting me to go along to get along and when I do I don’t feel empowered I feel sort of sickened.
They will eventually say
like they all do someday
is that my way of seeing the world is reflective of being broken yet I don’t understand how it doesn’t seem to apply to everyone
and forcing fate’s hand isn’t a thing any of us have control of…
I wake up grateful and yet with a slump
life refuses to let me give up as punishment
Shall I ooze today or explode is my fundamental question.
The suggestions are conflicting at most.
All I can say is handle with extreme caution.

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