Not to trauma dump but “studies” show that people like me usually tap out at 27 and if they are lucky, they might see 56. Most days I try not to think too hard about those stats or how horrible everything always was and try to keep going just to talk to my kid basically, connect with a few folk who can tolerate me, smoke the greatest weed ever and read my little books or travel. I’m as grateful as someone who doesn’t want to be here anymore can be, friend. It’s the crisis season of the 4th Turning and because humans are so stupid they do the same shit every 85-100 years or so and crazy people like myself have to see it all and endure the madness of paying fucking attention. I think I’m going to try for 20,000 steps today. That’ll teach me. 😔
Create. Consume. Cavort. Commune.
I’m getting a tiny bit scared if I’m honest.
I know you’re right friend, I’m amazing no statistic could have predicted me being here, no dispute from me but I know I’m just one fucked up day away …like Heath Ledger… it’s a battle every moment like okay do we want to destroy everything around us or just ourselves? Decisions decisions…
I’m too old now to do any of the self destructive things to numb the pain I used to get away with as a younger human. Being drunk at new years was awful! Trying to meet someone who isn’t going to Tinder Swindler you is impossible. Everybody is diseased and too idiotic to get basic vaccinations and the 30’s in America were shit last time… just went through a pandemic a decade earlier, war, and end of the twenties, crash! How much fucking money do you want to bet that something similar is on the horizon?
Commune. Cavort. Consume. Create.
18k steps to go. Time to wake and bake.
I can imagine how exhausting it must be to have a friend that requires constant reassurance and I hate being a burden on anyone so thank you for being my friend. I only have a couple and honestly I’ve known them both so long that I couldn’t say these things to them anymore without them hopping a plane to come sit with me (I think they like when I’m down frankly, they get to feel superior). Nawl I’m not going to push the stop button- my child would be very disappointed in me for chucking in the towel and knowing that in advance means it’s too selfish to consider. I don’t like leaning on people so thank you. You’re just a delicious little prince of a person, aren’t you?
Cavort. Commune. Consume. Create.
16k steps to go and guess what no good deed goes unpunished! Suffer!
14k left to go and this No Doubt Fire Aid LA set is giving me lifeeeeeeee again. Gwen is everything.
Why again is Katara not the avatar? She out here being the painted lady I can’t lol
First 10k in the bag Sokka’s Master episode is my favorite… glad I got to see it on a day I needed too. Nice.
14k in and I remind myself I’ll be in Ibiza in May. Nope I won’t have a bikini body but that wasn’t ever the goal- I just need to be able to dance all fucking night. 6k left. 🤙🏽
Create. Consume. Cavort. Commune.
One thousand steps left.
I’ve chatted with a friend. Commune.
I’ve watched The Last Airbender, started reading Damn Them All, listened to No Doubt and Soundgarden had some tea and got super high. Consume.
I’ve walked 20k steps today before fucking noon. Cavort.
I’ve added the day’s adventures to my very own blog. Create.
Actually, no shade, I feel pretty good right now.
My Mind, My Mood, My delicately poisoned pen... 
Leave a comment