The sound of wheezing laughter at something I have done or said, particularly my son’s …
Comments on feedback surveys after a training I’ve led that read, “This is your calling”…
Sipping Chardonnay in my beach tent out on the sand, facing the sun, watching the waves…
Finding cash in pockets of coats that hadn’t been worn in months or years…
Being moved to tears in a darkened theater surrounded by strangers after hearing a musical live for the first time…
Remembering the green dress and that kiss we had in the foyer a few minutes before I kicked the monster out…
All the Darth Vader trinkets on my bookshelf I’ve collected from acquaintances and friends over the years…
When someone manages to take a lovely photo of me and I can’t even pretend not to like it…
Driving up highway 1, windows down, music blaring, heading to or from Monterey Bay…
Trying on a dress in the closet that hadn’t been worn in years and it fits better now than it did originally…
Reading comics in the park, in the airport, or even the back yard…
Blog post likes and shares of course or buying or being gifted flowers…
Checking into a hotel stay in walking distance from the sea that I didn’t have to pay for or don’t have to pay back…
Freshly washed satin pillowcases on my bed after coming home from a long flight…
Putting on a golden moisturizer the day after my latest tattoo is fully healed
These very small and specific things
tiny tiny tiny
but they are ones that I can say that I love
full chest out
and I’m writing them here because I wasn’t loved properly as a child and I am having to learn the language of love at a much older age than many people do and much like acquiring a language, love is not my primary one, so it will inevitably be very difficult for me to speak like a native but if I remember
if I write the things down
I can become at the very least fluent enough one day
after extensive practice, obviously
to at the very least simulate the operation of abundance and worthiness that having been loved or knowing love provides
by recollecting like flash cards in preparation for a test
the tiniest moments when I feel it opening my chest, that I can find
My Mind, My Mood, My delicately poisoned pen... 
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