Before the bell the machine roused. It looked around and deciphered its current surroundings. 38.6171° N, 121.3283° W It rolled over and checked it’s audio visual computerized communication device for the time. One minute before the alarm blares, per normal. It feels like it should eat something as it has been more than 8 hours…
Month: November 2018
The Weakling’s Lament
He said he loved me once as a joke and that was enough until a year later when he said it again and we’ll never know why he did- we’ll never know… twice now, in the years since I’ve known him he’s said that and he’ll never have to tell me again, ever in life-…
43 years, 2 months and 18 days of pugilism
I catch myself staring at ceilings. I don’t know more than I think that I do. She should be so much further I tell myself, so much stronger by now. If you care you’re stupid too. I think everybody in every car around me is watching me drive and judging. I’m so far away from…
Needs Assessment
He asked me and then he begged. He insulted me and then he took it right back. He said I hurt him and then he said he couldn’t want me any more than right then. He promised to kiss my face off and to put it on me. And I stopped fighting and he advised…
Ikigai
Erase something, what? If it wasn’t horrifying there would have been no Sappho no Sun Tzu Your favorite song is heartbreaking and it wouldn’t be if there were no Ray Charles or BB King that story made you cry and if it hadn’t happened there’d be no Anne Frank no Phillis Wheatley you were moved…
Chicken bones in ashtrays
The secret moves that you make that no one ever sees- like the I look cute mirror dance.. or how you shame others when you’ve been shamed… or the way your face is ugly when you sing a song you really love… or the smile in the corner of your lips when you cry… the…
Turkey Necks
He only talks to me because I talk to him first. In 8 days I won’t even care about him for another month. In a month’s time I will have been to Vegas and back. He only talks to me because I talk to him so when will I realize how stupid this seems? When…
The Root Of Suffering
You don’t think that I know why you keep me in the background but it’s because I never do what you say I only do what you want… It’s because you can’t even really believe how lucky and cursed you are because I have happened to you for the time being for the best and…
Abnormally Love Tapped
Be the best thing that ever happened to me Be something to me be somebody, be my somebody be mine. But maybe you shouldn’t because I don’t know who I am supposed to be just yet And I don’t know how to love anybody back right just yet But I’d like to try if you…
Dusty Record Player
Nothing will ever fill the hole. I know that. And all I am doing is pretending that I have that thing. Whatever that thing is. Is it hope? Is it talent? Is it other people? Nothing I ever do will give me the people that I should have had And being mad at them won’t…
