Firecracker

I actually do not want to be serious anymore. I don’t want to worry or fret. I don’t wanna be afraid. I am scared of clowns though.

I run from clowns.

Scared of them.

Some really hot dude just told me he wasn’t interested in me because I’m a firecracker.

I’m terrified by clowns and I think it’s because I am a clown and I wanna clown and I hate that I’m not normal and don’t fit in until I remember how boring and uniform and dry and zombified they all look.

I hate that more. I can’t blend.

I almost got mad about what the hot guy said but I had to pause just to remember that I literally have dangerous firecracker tatted on my arm in kanji. I’m a damn fool.

That’s hilarious.

I’m just scared of me, I see.All the time. But I’m happy when I clown. I enjoy clowning. Chaos is.

Chaos is fun to me.

Relaxing even.

I’m the best at clowning. OK clown so why am I so scared of clowns?

well I don’t know and you know else?

I don’t care anymore.

We’re going forward. we are full ass about to clown. just clown it all down. Why not

you love to do it

whether you are alone or with a group so what’s the big deal because clowns are crazy…

Everyone knows the clowns are crazy. so?????

crazy girl

Do what you do

be what you know

that is be what they call you

be what you are

do what you love.

Clowns go everywhere they know everybody and do everything

Free as fuck

It’s lonely but fun as hell.

I told him fair enough and explained my tattoo and laughed and said have a good day and stay safe.

Have a good time or what is my new motto.

what’s the alternative?

Be boring and typical and miserable? you gonna die anyway

that’s the only serious thing that’s really going on with any human

one day you ain’t gonna be here

you ain’t gonna miss this

all that’s over with so what else can you do?

Be absurd

be a nerd

be a freak

be a weirdo

stand out. You do anyway.

Go down singing instead of fighting scratch your nails down everything that says do not touch

clown.

Fuck it. That hot guy can suck a dick. Maybe then I’d be more interested in him than my own self discovery, I don’t know.

I’m a firecracker siren clown.

Got it universe. I’m on it.