An Email to my Son 12 days before his 18th Birthday

Thanks for talking to me about how you’re feeling last night.
There are lot of pressures as adults and you can always talk to me as long as I’m on the earth.
I wish that I had known at your age, that I needed to be very careful around certain things and certain people, because who knows how much better things would have been over all?
They say knowledge is power for a reason.
According to the experts, I should not have been able to be a mom and I should not have been able to hold down a job and I should be 6 feet under the ground by now.
You know how I feel about experts! ( Other than Neil Degrasse Tyson, he’s pretty boss)
Once you know what you need to do to take care of yourself and the people that you love, its your obligation to try to do as much as you can, for yourself and for them.

If that means that in order for you to have the happiest life that you skip college for now, then okay.

But that does not mean that you get to be off the hook. You still have to think of ways to regulate emotions, you still have to work, and be nice to people and share with others and follow the laws of the land.
It’s your life and it’s just starting and in two weeks its your job from here on out to make the most of it; To go to the places that intrigue you, to provide food and shelter for yourself and your loved ones, to work hard at things that matter to you, to keep yourself as healthy as you can, and to avoid as many people and places and things that will hurt you or bring you down.

Make a sleep schedule and stick to it. Trust yourself to know what is best and if you don’t know, ask for help. Eat better, drink water, exercise and if you don’t need it, don’t buy it.
And love, love starts with you. With everything good and everything not so good about your own self, be loving and forgiving and compassionate to you, first. Apologize to yourself and try not to break your own heart and spirit.

The road ahead has lots of twists and turns, you might discover you want to be a manager of a business or start a clothing company or be a travel agent or a speech writer or all of those things! Do your research, find your passion,  invest time in the work and clean your room!

Respect yourself and others and promise me that you will try to pull as much joy out of every day that you can, even if that means just being quiet in your room alone a while listening to your favorite jams before you put on your brave face and venture out into the world again.

I don’t have all of the answers, I’m human and make mistakes and I’m still learning too. But what I do know for a fact is that you are smart, and creative, generous and hardworking. I love you very much and I want to see you do all of the great things that people who are experts say you cannot do.

Mom’s two rules will always apply- Don’t hurt yourself or others. Your mind will change about careers about money about guys about religion about politics about education etc., but don’t let anything dissuade you about your worth and what you can accomplish if you set your heart and mind to it and put in the effort that it requires.

As much as I would love to destroy everything in your path, it’s going to be your turn to do that very soon for you.

Be encouraged. Feel loved. Be grateful.
And with as much effort as you can muster, fly eagle, fly.


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