He said ( OUT THE BLUE, MIND YOU)  I wish you had kidnapped me and caged me when you had the chance and ensured I could never escape with out your consent… Sorry, I shouldn’t have sent that…
What I thought was: Oh wow. Okay so, I got off the social media site we both happen to be on and I got off of the instant messaging we use to communicate and here he is, isn’t that crazy? Isn’t that nutz that I deleted all of that shit a couple of days ago and today, I haven’t been able to control my thoughts of my monster, and he shows up? I’m sitting here, half naked, drunk, worried, sad, particular, weird, sick and lonely and I decide to get super high and I decide to add a cloak of drunk to my buzz, and the music is just right and out of thin air and for no reason, I decided to go through all of the pictures that I have on my computer of him and wait, because I know I miss him but I also know he can’t contact me unless that mo fo shows up here, but I forgot, I remembered, he has my real number, I sadly remembered, he has my real number, he has my real number and he never needs to use it because why, since outside of today, I’m always in his hair with some song link or some dumb ass question, or some drunk text, or some video reminding him that I’m nothing, I’m nothing, I’m nothing because he’s everything and not having him yet trying to get him is the only reason that I have left to live, yet he hit me up, he found me, he was like hey, this bitch isn’t stalking me, where is my narcissistic supply and since his car is down showing up is out so he texts me this crazy random paragraph into my real phone and since I’m not checking my blocked messages because all sorts of loons are in there I think, you know what would be funny, since I’m high and drunk and crazy and looking at this mofo and listening to music and feening I just wonder, so I checked the blocked messages and like, two seconds before he had texted this shit, to me. This is too much it’s so much that it’s too much. I’m crazy. This is fate. I’m crazy. This is fate. I’m crazy. This is fate. I’m getting his time. Even if it’s seconds. He misses me. I miss him and he misses me so he is not on the social network looking for me, I’m gone so he is in my phone to tell me, how badly he wishes that I was braver than I have been and that it’s okay to have him. It’s okay to have him. Having him is what he wants. he found me. He had to tell me. He’s probably fucked up but still even if he is I’m on his mind. Me. I am occupying him for whatever reason, after not talking to him on purpose for what has seemed to me to be forfuckingever and he can’t take it either and here his horrible yet super fine ass is. With me. It’s karma. He wants me. Fuck it. He misses me. Now, he’s mine.
But for some reason what I said was: I don’t have the chance anymore then, monster? Sorry, I probably shouldn’t have sent that either…

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