I took that risk unnecessarily and it changed me objectively
I wanna look too long and too hard at the shit that is supposed to be scary
This is not virtuous only scandalous temporary delight evidently
I saw the elevated froth at the top mixing with the coarse dregs
Never noticed the heads, couldn’t care less if it breathed, just that it bled
But is this not helping me at all to face my demons or to move ahead
I saw the young and the elderly legs spread and for no bread
You fantasize and I fantasize about fucking over all the pre-dead
yet the right thing to do and what I desire to do both ignore what I’ve said
as a matter of fact they all paid in advance to come and play
I admired the weakest ones the youngest ones because it was their first day
when I should have been past this childish malevolent harmful sway
they volunteered unnecessarily to spend one night of their lives on display
they wanted to be destroyed and violated and abused in the worst way
I judge myself after every catastrophic disaster I cause but survive it’s fray
the new stuff in my head, is it new at all or just understood for the first time
The way I wanna love you is most certainly an ethical crime
I can’t sit here voiceless and be anti capitalist when I call you a dime
I’ve always had someone like you in the back of my mind
I don’t want you to even see disaster coming I want you to stay blind
and the memories will remind me that I am just dying here and time is flyin’…




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