Perhaps if I hadn’t thought I could no longer live in Indiana
because I couldn’t find any love there
I would never have moved to Upland, California in 2005
and I would never have met the Man from Moreno Valley
and I would never moved to Vegas with him
and I would never have left him and his dumb ass friend on the strip and moved back to Indiana
and I wouldn’t have recalled how much I hated the heartland
because I couldn’t find any love there and moved back to Vegas
and perhaps I wouldn’t have gotten a job in Nevada that required I relocate to Ohio
and I wouldn’t have lived here so upset at the proximity to Indiana and yet
a mere 30 minutes from you and I wouldn’t have ever met you,
especially since when I moved to California the first time
you were only 11 years old and now that I have accepted that I can’t be with you
although I pretended I was closer to love than I actually was
in your arms and in your eyes
I have accepted once more and for all that I can’t survive in the Midwest
because I can’t seem to find any love here however if it hadn’t happened exactly as it did,
perhaps I wouldn’t be lucky enough to work for a different company
that would allow me to relocate to California once more
so I could give myself a chance to get it right this time
to fade into the shadows of the millions of others who couldn’t find love
but would settle for palm trees and sunny skies…



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